so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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