i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
