he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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