He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
