She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
