Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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