"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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