hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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