Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..