Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.