The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.