I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
