After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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