I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
