You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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