So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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