well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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