im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
