Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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