6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
