I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
