Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if only i could text you this smell
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Green mimosas i think yes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
