I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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