Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
