So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm at about main and main street
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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