What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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