To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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