just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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