You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
