Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize