You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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