First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
