Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
