I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
