My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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