i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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