Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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