We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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