Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
