Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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