I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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