So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
