she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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