ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
