How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
