We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is classic penis vs brain.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
