I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ttyl tear gas
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
