Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
