I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
