make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
