listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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