i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
