Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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