i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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