last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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