and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
