a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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