just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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