At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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