i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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