Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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