Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
